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A Message from Marti’s Sister, Lisa Frumhoff

May 21, 2007 Media 1 Comment

Marti Frumhoff’s sister Lisa asked me to post this message from her:

I and my whole family have been so touched by the enormous acknowledgement of Marti Frumhoff. We each had different relationships with Marti, as siblings. She and I had a very special bond. Like many of my friends and people I’ve talked with, Marti and I had our differences. Yet always, always, always was this most amazingly strong love she expressed to me, being each other’s only sister, having so much in common as for as our experiences with our parents, and family, and our reactions in life, we shared so much and yet we also grew to a place of embracing each other for our differences and uniqueness. My brothers knew less about her and yet as I read more and more of the blogs, I continue to learn so much about my sister Marti that I had no idea about. it’s just so moving to me how the ripple effect has certainly just continued to ripple through St. Louis. Marti would want everything to continue the work and she was very humble about her role and impact.

I am her baby sister, and we have 3 brothers. Marti has been the leader of our pack, our 5 kids, and she has continued to be an awsome and beautiful inspiration to us all.

She and I worked together at the same office and she is why I got into Real Estate 13 years ago. I resisted her conversations with me, as long as I could hold out. Yet I am sure, as so many of you are so familiar with Marti for her enthusiasm and encouragement, she perservered with me and the rest is history. (or ‘herstory’ as the case may be)

As I read the numorous stories, I find myself in many of you. She inspired me to get into Real Estate when she said to me “Lisa, it’s not just about selling houses, it’s a lot more…it’s about helping people through one of the most stressful times they will probably go through, and I get to be a teacher, and a counselor, and really make a difference for people.

I am so grateful that I was blessed to have Marti as my sister. Marti and I perservered with our relationship, breaking through so many of the road blocks and bumps in a road that sisters have. She was so funny. I loved her humor and we played a lot together, in between the serious conversations. And so the past 13 years of my life, working together, and honoring each other for our own journeys, has been such a true gift in my life.

The past few months Marti and I had an appointment with each other to help support each other in our separate businesses. We met at the Bread Company in Richmond Heights had also been talking about working together,slowly, easing into it. we have been meeting on Tuesday mornings to talk about our goals that we each had for our own businesses. She always had gobs and gobs of lists of all these actions she was taking care of. I learned a lot about her over the past year and especially over the past few months as she also learned alot about me. I would hear her talk about her amazement that people were just calling her daily to help them. She lived fully and absolutely loved what she was doing in her life. Her passion and enthusiasm were contagious. I am sad she is gone from the plane we know, and I know, with out a doubt, her spirit is around.

There were many trips she and I spoke of taking together, most recent a road trip to Maine to visit a college friend of hers. I will miss Marti greatly. I am still in shock.

The afternoon I found her on Wednesday, I was in her home. I was the only one in her home at that time, waiting for them to come get her. This was such a shock for all of us, and really not knowing what to do in the time I was waiting, I saw her drum in the corner of her dining room. I was immediately drawn to beat the drum, and as I was beating the drum, I would drum a few seconds, then pause, and in the pauses I heard drumming back. This continued for about 30 minutes, even after I stopped drumming, we were outside a few hours later and still heard the same drumming noise coming from the home in the same pattern.

I felt her spirit, still do, everytime I read story after story about how you all have been impacted and touched by Marti.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers for us. As we go through these days, what has helped carry us through is reading & hearing the difference Marti Frumhoff has made in your life.

I am going to miss her dearly. Not only was she my favorite sister, she always told me I was her favorite sister. Being her only sister this always made me smile.

I am so grateful, too, that Marti moved back to St. Louis 20 years ago to work on our relationship. I appreciate that she was committed to “rehabbing” our relationship. Through each of our growing commitment to mend the past, we have had some most amazing times together. She and I were constantly learning new things about each other as we grew closer. Of recent, I mentioned to her that I was going to Diana’s Grove Dog Rescue for a weekend. Her mouth dropped open as she told me she had their website bookmarked and she had been really wanting to check it out and go and do a workshop there too. She couldn’t beleive I was going and knew about it. We planned on doing something in the future there together. She as such an animal lover. We have been able to place both dogs and I believe we have 2 cats we are trying to find homes for at this point. So with Marti\’s passion for animals, and for her enthusiasm in Diana’s Grove, we as a family saw the place for donations was this not-for-profit organization, which is a true grassroots group of people in one of the poorest counties in southern Missouri. If you are interested, you may check out www.takeafriendhome.org

I also wanted to share another personal story that I wrote months ago about Marti, I will email that to you in another email.

There is so much more I want to share and I will over time. Just a couple more things: One is when I think of Marti I think of a powerful wonderful woman connecting poeple together. For me I see a major role she played in her life was about connecting people together. I know for me she has connected me with people who have been a major part of my life, in the past, and currently today. She encouraged me to ask my girlfriend on a date, when I was scared to, and she encouraged me as big sisters do. Just 2 months ago she and I had that conversations. I think she was taking care and watching out for me back then. Also, When I think of my big sister Marti, who she has been for me in my life is the “wind beneath my wings” encouraging her baby sister, me, to follow my dreams. I see her as my hero in loving and caring for animals, and she adored my pets too. She and I shared a special connection with our strong connection to animals. She encouraged me in my years in Real Esate Sales and was my cheerleader all the way thru her life. She loved her family dearly, especially her nephews Daniel who she has had such amazing times with in the past few years, and her youngest nephew Royee. I know also that one of the things she wished she could do was to help her father in more ways than she was able to in this lifetime.

I am grateful she is at peace now, and I know she is in the heavens to continue to help all of is in different ways.

Peace and Love, Lisa Frumhoff

On a somewhat related note I will be a guest Monday evening (May 21st) on KDHX’s Collateral Damage program, 88.1 at 7pm. We’ll spent most or all of the time talking about the many contributions to the city by Marti Frumhoff. – Steve


Currently there is "1 comment" on this Article:

  1. Shannon Ware says:

    Thank you so much for posting this, and to Lisa for sharing in this difficult time for all of us. I entered the real estate business with a passion for old houses and neighborhood preservation, naive and initially unaware of her pioneering work and passion with the rehabbers club and neighborhood activism. She became a model for me to follow, yet it was Marti who approached me initially because I was also a member of the glbt community. She actually said she admired me for being so open and confident in getting into the business, because it embarrassed me no end for her to act that way towards me, when I felt just the opposite, that I was not even close to being in her league– but I think that was her nature, to encourage and nuture those around her.

    For now what will always be too few times we met for coffee and discussions about business and random topics and shared community, discovered a common passion for photography and shared our flickr contacts (she has some of her street photography up on flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/streetscenes/, a small fraction of her total, I suspect) and urban real estate,and shared ideas for business, even though we were “competitors”. About how we felt all the city focused agents felt closer to each other than to our respective brokers, and how cool it would be if we had a brokerage that was all about the city and diversity, and proactively promoting our neighborhoods, her great new idea for Main Street St. Louis.

    Sorry for the ramble, like many I suspect, I have not fully processed that I won’t see her at the next random community or business event. I feel like I’m still talking to her, so many more conversations that we will not have. There is no doubt that she was a major catalyst in the renewal of energy and community in the city. We all will miss you.

    Shannon Ware


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